Brothers and sisters! My khutba today is on the teachings of morals and manners in Islam. Out of all problems that surround man—moral, social, economic, political, or any other, the greatest of them is the moral problem. All other problems are only aspects of this major problem. Be it on the individual or collective level, every crime: murder, theft, adultery, fornication, injustice, oppression, dishonesty, abuse of resources, unjustified greed, arrogance, hypocrisy, bigotry, racism, hatred, or any other evil is rooted in the moral or ethical problem of man.
Islam gives this problem the importance it deserves. Islam is built on the basis of values which are not only for the group which adheres to them, but for the whole of humankind. It provides guidance in all spheres of life and covers the moral, ethical, social, economic, and political aspects of human life. Islam provides a perfectly balanced approach to address the core issues of a society. In the 23 years that Muhammad (saw) spread his message, he offered the world truth, clarity and a sense of purpose. It was a message that was exemplified by the character of the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
The early generation of Muslims had understood and internalized Islam. That’s why their lives reflected Islam in action. As for Muslims today, a vast majority of them have neither understood nor internalized Islam in letter and spirit; hence the deep crisis in which they find themselves despite being about one-fourth of the total world population.
The true application of an Islamic system is not visible anywhere; not even in the Muslim majority countries. There is little wonder, therefore, that when non-Muslims are invited to see the simplicity, universality, and practicality of Islam, eyebrows are raised. Where in the contemporary times, do we have a successful Islamic system that can be presented to the world as a successful system based on the Islamic model?
Islamic teachings lay great emphasis on moral conduct and how we should deal with people in our daily lives. The question for Muslims today is whether they are living that message? In Arabic language, the word khalq means creation and the word khuluq means character, manners, or morals. While khalq mainly refers to the physical appearance, khuluq refers to the deep inner self of a person. The Qur’an as well as the Prophetic traditions have commended those who possess a good character. Praising his Messenger (saw) Allah (SWT) says,
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلى خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
“And you are surely on an exalted standard of character.” (al-Qalam, 68:4)
Because the Prophet (saw) was guided by revelation in his personal life, his character and social interactions became prime examples of moral conduct for Muslims until the Last Day. Exhorting believers to follow the Prophet’s example, Allah says in Surat al-Ahzab,
لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الآَخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا
“The Messenger of Allah is an excellent model for those of you who put your hope in Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah very often.” (al-Ahzab, 33:21). The daily life of the Prophet (saw) as recorded in hadith represents an ideal code of good conduct. In fact, when the Prophet’s wife `A’ishah was asked about his conduct, she replied: “His character was the Qur’an.” The Prophet (saw) followed the Qur’an very meticulously and lived the Qur’an at every moment; in every detail of his life. His life was the reflection of Allah’s Words. He became the embodiment of the Qur’an.
The Prophet (saw) himself urged his followers to possess and practice good manners and abstain from the bad ones. Making peace among the people, assisting one to ride an animal or to load his luggage on, speaking mild words, advising people to offer compulsory and optional prayers, maintaining family ties, spreading greeting of peace among the people, feeding the hungry, treating the poor and orphans with compassion, taking care of the affairs of the Muslims and those under their protection, being moderate in eating, drinking and dressing, spending in Allah’s cause, showing kindness to one’s spouse, being good to neighbors, guarding secrets, having politeness in speech, and honoring the guests, are some of the many forms of good manners that the Prophet (saw) encouraged people to cultivate. In a hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said:
إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ صَالِحَ الْأَخْلَاقِ
“Verily, I was sent for no other reason, except to perfect the noble traits of character.”
One of the Prophet’s (saw) goals, or his primary mission was to demonstrate a lifestyle that directed one to perfect one’s character. He provided warnings, encouragement and practical advice for the improvement of manners, behavior and character. He had much to offer in the way of guidance in this respect. His general advice to those who inquired was, “Say, ‘I believe in Allah’, and then be upright.” This concise answer shows that faith alone, or the claim of faith is insufficient, and that words must be proven by deeds. A Muslim is required to be upright in all his dealings, and especially toward his Creator through careful obedience and sincere worship. Then, he must be honest, ethical and considerate with respect to all people, creatures, and creations.
The virtues of good manners are seen in various sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) such as: “The most beloved of Allah’s servants to Allah are those with the best manners.” “Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one’s good manners.” Abdullah ibn Amr said: “The Prophet of Allah was never obscene or coarse. Rather, he used to tell us that the best among us were those with the best manners.” Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “Verily, the most beloved and nearest to my gathering on the Day of Resurrection are those of you with the best character. Verily, the most reprehensible of you to me and the furthest from my gathering on the Day of Resurrection will be the pompous, the extravagant, and the pretentious.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, we know the pompous and the extravagant, but who are the pretentious?” The Prophet said, “The arrogant.”
One positive aspect of a believer’s character is satisfaction with whatever Allah (SWT) has provided and decreed; appreciation of his Lord’s blessings and not being overly concerned with worldly pleasures and comforts. He can then turn more of his attention to things that will benefit him in the eternal life to come. The Prophet (saw) stated,
“Wealth is not in an abundance of goods, but it is in contentment of the soul.” “Eat, drink, give charity and dress without extravagance or pride.” “Look to him (whose condition is) below you and do not look to him above you, for that is more likely that you will not underestimate Allah’s favor upon you.” “Whoever would like to be saved from the Fire and enter Paradise should meet death believing in Allah and the Last Day, and should do to people as he would like done to him. None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself. “Do not consider anything good as insignificant, even meeting your brother with a pleasant face.” “Allah is generous and loves generosity; and He loves high morality and hates base morality.”
The Prophet (saw) directed people how to recognize within themselves the signs of righteousness and wrongdoing, saying, “Righteousness is good morals, and wrongdoing is that which causes discomfort (or pinches) within your soul and which you dislike that people should come to know of it.” This goes to show that the human being is created with an internal mechanism to sense which acts are sinful, and the soul is uneasy when it performs sinful acts. The Prophet (saw) taught through his own example, but his instructions and advice provide additional emphasis. He said, “Whoever of you sees a wrong, let him change it by his hand; and if he is not able, then with his tongue; and if he is not able, then with his heart, and that is the weakest of faith.”
When speaking in public or addressing a group of people, the Prophet (saw) reminded not to whisper, while leaving out another person. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported that the Prophet (saw) said: “If they are three, two of them should not carry on a conversation from which the third is excluded, for surely that will be distressing to him.” Causing suspicion when speaking to others is also frowned upon in Islam, especially in today’s age where technology causes the world to lose its borders, spying on each other, competing and despising one another can sometimes arise without realizing it. The Prophet (saw) said, “Be careful of suspicion, for it is the most mistaken of all speech. Do not spy on others, compete among yourselves, envy one another, or despise one another. Rather, be servants of Allah and brothers!”
There are amongst Muslims those who lie, backbite, criticize, use vulgar language, falsely accuse others, flatter, exaggerate, brag, mimic and make fun of people. This kind of irresponsible speech sometimes has far-reaching consequences on the lives of people and can cause great harm and pain. Just as we’ll be held accountable for all our actions, big or small, so too we’ll be held accountable for each and every word that comes out of our mouths. There is a stern warning in the Qur’an regarding this,
مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلاَّ لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ
“Not a single word is uttered by anyone except that there is an observer near him, ready to record” (Qaf, 50:18). Indeed this is a frightening prospect. During the course of the day, we say so many things without realizing how harmful they are. We pass remarks about people’s looks; about people’s negative traits. So and so is ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, worthless, and so on. We use abusive language. Worse still are the biting remarks some of us make without knowledge about Islam, about the Qur’an, about the Prophets, and sometimes even about Allah (SWT), never stopping to think that it’s all being recorded and will be presented to us on the Day of Resurrection. Sometimes, mindless chatter leads to gossip, which could lead to intentional or unintentional defamation, backbiting or other irresponsible speech. There are many Prophetic traditions on the issue of guarding and controlling one’s tongue. The Prophet (saw) said, “Whosoever gives me a guarantee to safeguard what is between his jaws (meaning the tongue), and what is between his legs (meaning the private parts), I shall guarantee him paradise.” We have to remember that on the Day of Judgment our physical organs will stand as witnesses against us if we use them in the wrong way. As Allah says in Surat al-Nur,
يَوْمَ تَشْهَدُ عَلَيْهِمْ أَلْسِنَتُهُمْ وَأَيْدِيهِمْ وَأَرْجُلُهُم بِمَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ
“On the Day when their own tongues, hands and feet shall bear witness against them about what they did” (al-Nur, 24:24).
أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ المُسْلِمينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتْ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهْ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على سيد المرسلين وعلى آله وأصحابه أجمعين
According to a hadith, the Prophet (saw) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, let him either speak good or keep silent.” He also said, “The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe, and the emigrant (muhajir) is the one who abandons what Allah has forbidden.” On one occasion he also said, “Most of the sins of the children of Adam are on their tongues.”
In a twist on good manners, the Prophet (saw) did encourage gifts for one another. Gifts are yet another way to foster relations based on kindness for each other. Prophet Muhammad (saw) advised: “Give gifts to one another and you will love one another.”
Allah (SWT) has shown us in the character of Prophet Muhammad (saw) the model of a compassionate person. According to a hadith, “He who does not show mercy to the young and show esteem for our elders is not one of us.” The Prophet (saw) treated every one, friends and foe, man and woman, young and old, with kindness and respect. Even when some of the pagan Arabs reacted to his message with extreme hatred, he showed love and kindness. Showing mercy and forgiving others can only be the attributes of the strong. Referring to the Prophet’s universal all-embracing mercy, Allah (SWT) says in Surat al-Anbiya,
وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ
“And We have not sent you except as a mercy to the worlds” (al-Anbiya, 21:107). As Muslims, we should follow Prophet Muhammad (saw) in order to become amongst the best of Muslims with the best possible manners as a stepping stone to become closer to God and to have a permanent resting abode in Paradise.
